MySpace Danger: Part II

Last time, we talked about how to avoid Myspace danger online. Now we're going to tackle the next subject: avoiding (or at least minimizing) Myspace danger offline.

Obviously, face-to-face meetings are a much further step into the Myspace danger zone than online contact. But there is much you can do to lower the Myspace danger factor, even when meeting someone in person.

Here are the rules for staying safe when you go to meet someone you've met on Myspace:

1) Don't go anywhere private the first time. The first rule in staying out of Myspace danger is: make it public and make it short. Tell him ahead of time, so he won't be insulted. Don't worry about turning him off; if he's really a normal guy, he'll only respect you more for protecting your safety.

When you go out for the first time, don't go alone. Bring a friend with you. If you feel uncomfortable, then arrange for your friend to be in the same mall/restaurant/dessert bar where you'll be.

If he insists in meeting you alone, DO NOT GO and cut off all contact IMMEDIATELY.

3) Before your first meeting - and for the next few meetings after that - make sure someone knows who you're going out with, where you'll be and when you're planning on coming back. That person should know where all your emails are stored on your computer (remember, in the first article we said to save all emails?), because if anything goes wrong, they will be the source if information needed to locate the person you've been seeing.

4) This is a major Myspace danger rule: NEVER get into a car with an online date. Arrive and leave independently, and don't go anywhere private for a long while. Don't go home with them either, and if you're changing locations in the middle of a date - let's say, from a restaurant to a movie theater - take your own car. This may sound extreme, but remember that this is not a normal blind date. Take it slowly, because your life could depend on it, and don't worry that he might think you're crazy. If he's really a normal guy, then he'll understand and even respect you that much more. A woman whose safety is important to her shows that she values and respects herself.

5) Always keep your cell phone with you, and keep it on.

6) This next rule applies to all dating, but especially online: If your date - at any point in the relationship - wants you to do something that compromises your principles, and he doesn't let up, then use your common sense and get out of there. The same thing goes if you feel intimidated, afraid, or that he's trying to lead you into going somewhere that might compromise your safety. Excuse yourself to the ladies' room and call a friend, or get someone else ilike the security guard or proprietor involved. Don't be embarrassed; just explain the situation and enlist their help in getting you out the back door. This is not merely a case of "better safe than sorry". One of the realities of online dating is that if you don't ensure your safety, you may never get the chance to be sorry about it. I don't think I have to get specific - we all read the papers.

10) If anything does go wrong, don't be embarrassed to tell the police. Forget about whether you followed all the cyber-dating rules or not, and give them all the facts. Remember: if you don't report this person, they will do it again. Don't forget to report him to Myspace, too; he will be kicked off the site.

I know that these tips have something of a doomsday feel to them. And the truth is that, obviously, most Myspace dates (and online dates in general) do not end in tragedy. But that's also because people have learned to be careful. When your safety - and your life - are in the balance, it's much better to err on the side of caution. You're too precious and special to take chances with yourself!